): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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