why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
