There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
This beer is not sobering me up at all
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
