on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
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he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
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if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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