I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
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