a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
I love us.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it