Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?