apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
time to smoke my breakfast
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize