I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
