Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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