i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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