I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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