dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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