His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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