I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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