Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
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The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
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