Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
