Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she told me i tasted like america
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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