LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
