actually, I'm a sock model
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
