well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
