Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize