like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
