He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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