While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
