you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
