I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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