Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm getting married
To pizza
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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