dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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