i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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