I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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