There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
