Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Randomize
