She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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