White coat. Heels.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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