i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Someone signed my nipple.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize