she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
