we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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