I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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