we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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