If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
