it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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