We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
