Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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