you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
