i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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