i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my shit smells like andre
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Randomize