I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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