we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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