what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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