i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
