i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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