I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize