he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
