bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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