shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I could fuck to npr.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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