If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
